I got an email from the soon-to-be exhusband this past Friday. Exactly 10 months to the date I returned back to Georgia, he’s finally signed the divorce papers and waiver of jurisdiction, had them notarized and has mailed them. He emailed me over the weekend with the tracking number. I can feel huge weights lifting from my shoulders. I guess I just don’t really feel like I’m released from “him” until everything is final, and it looks like we’re getting closer to things finally being final. It’s been a long time coming. I didn’t expect things to take this long, but in the end it’ll be well worth the wait.

I still feel like I’m going to drive myself mad. I’m up, then I’m down. I’m ready to hop off of this roller coaster ride I’ve been on, for good! I feel myself pushing people away. I don’t know why I do that. I don’t want to do it, but it’s just like.. I can’t seem to control it. I feel like eventually I’ll push people too far away.. and never have the chance again to keep them close. I suck. I hate all of this emotional crap I’m still tangled up in. I think it’s starting to hurt my relationships with some people (friends and family alike).

My mom has asked me to go with her to Saint Simons Island this coming weekend. I haven’t decided if I’m going to go or not. I mean, it would definitely be nice to get away from the drama and stress, and just relax for a bit — especially on the beach. I just don’t know. If I do, I’m hoping we’ll have the chance to play some mini-golf, which I actually love. I’m such a kid at heart. Is that a bad thing?

I really don’t have much else to offer tonight.